CHANGING OUR THINKING
“Positive thinking is a tool codependents have available to use when slipping into negative thinking, the kind that leads to unmanageability. Instead, we become thought watchers. Seeking peace through consciously changing negative thought patterns and searching for solutions instead of someone to blame are methods that work to bring about change.”
“…we knew that it was not our job to struggle with our old ideas.
That was God’s business … our contribution would be a fourfold process: to acknowledge our awareness of the old beliefs; to admit our uncomfortable feelings about these beliefs; to make the decision to accept our feelings about them; and to take action by exercising our ability TO CHOOSE new beliefs using whatever tools the program presented, [including affirmations] positive statements about ourselves.”
AFFIRMATIONS
“With the help of my Higher Power, I now release the pattern of repetitive, obsessive thinking.”
“I have the right to be here, to exist.”
“I deserve to live a successful, happy life.”
“I am worthwhile and important.”
“I acknowledge that I am a unique and precious creation”
“These statements of recovery give us a CHOICE. They offer us the opportunity to change our thoughts, our feelings, and ultimately our actions and beliefs. Exercising positive choice is new for many of us. And while it does carry with it an awesome guarantee of accomplishment, we can count on the fact that our Higher Power will never give us any more than we can handle, even, joy and success.”
Changing Resentment to Forgiveness
“Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. Consciously deciding to let go of negative feelings towards a person who has harmed us may improve our emotional, spiritual, and physical health. We can get help with this process by working the Steps with our sponsor.”
AFFIRMATIONS
“In this moment I choose freedom from the desire to blame myself or others.”
“As I let go of self-blame, I accept responsibility for my past actions.”
“As I am able to forgive myself I am more able to forgive others.”
“I am filled with tolerance for myself and others.”
“No matter what my life experience has been, I grow in forgiveness.”
“I make peace with myself as I practice forgiveness.”
Becoming our Authentic Selves
“How do we become our authentic selves?
We have to stop attempting to exert power over other people or wishing another person would change so we could be happy.
ACA’s “Welcome” also reveals behaviors we need to stop: ‘We attempted to use others – our mates, friends, and even our children, as our sole source of identity, value and well-being … In order to be authentic, we cannot use other people to define who we are and fulfill us. To be true to ourselves, we look inside to find our answers. We turn to our Higher Power … We discover within ourselves a sense of security and self worth not bound by anyone else’s opinion of us.”
AFFIRMATIONS
“I know who I am today. I genuinely like myself.”
“I no longer need to rely solely on others to provide my sense of worth.”
“[Being authentic] means being aware of my feelings as I’m experiencing them and being able to make decisions on whether or not I want to act on them.”
“I can say ‘yes’ to what I want and ‘no’ to what I don’t want.”
“I am enough”
BUILDING OUR RELATIONSHIPS
[Building a relationship with ourselves] “many of us use writing as a tool to identify and process our feelings … reading out loud what we have written may be a powerful experience in increasing our self-knowledge … By taking daily inventory of our feelings, strengths, and limitations, we gain a better understanding of ourselves.” [With others] “Using ‘I’ messages requires us to verbalize our feelings to another person in a nonthreatening way.”
“Communicating our boundaries … we have the right to honor our personal beliefs, values, and desires.” “Detachment is a conscious tool some of us use when we find ourselves wanting to control others. Detaching with love allows us to take the focus off others and to put the focus back on ourselves. We concentrate on our own recovery while still caring, but not care taking, for others.”
AFFIRMATIONS
“I am free from the fear, anger, or moodiness of others. I can detach with love.”
“I have the courage to maintain boundaries even if others disapprove.” “I am lovable and I deserve love.”
“I am capable of developing and maintaining healthy and loving relationships.”
“I learn that it is possible for me to mend – to become more loving, intimate and supportive.”
